Success
Sadly this is not a word I am too familiar with, especially lately. There is not much that I would say that I have ever been "successful" at. My brother and sister did things right. They went to college, fell in love, got married and live the normal happy life. I am the cliche disappointment. I am unable to work, live in a rented basement room, terrifically undateable and horribly lonely. Not anything successfull about that....
*** yes I am in a mood, thats the best thing about this being my blog, I can be! I know Im not the only one who has these thoughts.... its proven almost daily....
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Daily Prompt ~ R is for Regret
Regret
I always try to live with no regrets. I will admit, now that I am older, that I do have a few. But as "Old blue eyes" would say, still too few to mention. Even still, everything I have done, or chosen to do, has been a life lesson, good or bad. If you have lived life without the slightest what if? or why? you have nothing to regret, bc you haven't truly been living. You have to take those chances, if all goes bad, no regrets... again just a life lesson.
Yes I know this probably sounds silly coming from the woman whose anxiety levels hit a point where I rarely leave the house.... but when I do get out I'm always glad!
I always try to live with no regrets. I will admit, now that I am older, that I do have a few. But as "Old blue eyes" would say, still too few to mention. Even still, everything I have done, or chosen to do, has been a life lesson, good or bad. If you have lived life without the slightest what if? or why? you have nothing to regret, bc you haven't truly been living. You have to take those chances, if all goes bad, no regrets... again just a life lesson.
Yes I know this probably sounds silly coming from the woman whose anxiety levels hit a point where I rarely leave the house.... but when I do get out I'm always glad!
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Daily Prompt ~ Q is for Quiet
Quiet
I love music. 90% of the time, that is the background noise to my life. However, sometimes there is nothing sweeter than the sound of silence. I used to work at 4am, the hours were difficult but it was always so quiet and peaceful in the morning while the rest of the world slept. Years ago, when it was safer to do so, I used to take late night walks and enjoy the serenity of the night. Now, thats not even an option. I hate that the world has changed so its not safe to walk at night. Now I tend to find quiet serenity in hiding in my room, and occasionally enjoying the quiet of being in my space.
I love music. 90% of the time, that is the background noise to my life. However, sometimes there is nothing sweeter than the sound of silence. I used to work at 4am, the hours were difficult but it was always so quiet and peaceful in the morning while the rest of the world slept. Years ago, when it was safer to do so, I used to take late night walks and enjoy the serenity of the night. Now, thats not even an option. I hate that the world has changed so its not safe to walk at night. Now I tend to find quiet serenity in hiding in my room, and occasionally enjoying the quiet of being in my space.
Monday, December 9, 2013
Daily Prompt ~ P is for Photo
Photo
I have always loved pictures! I have just recently started creating some photo albums to enjoy. With the age of digital media, all my photos are on my pc. I recently thought about it and for .13 cents a print are finally sending them to Fred Meyer to print them out. I decided it was important to me to have the physical copies as opposed to digital, reason being, generations from now technology will be so different the only chance of future generations seeing the family pics is to have "paper" copies. I am up to 2010, but lots and lots to go. I also have a box of loose photos that desperately need to go into photo boxes. There is not enough info to place them correctly in an album. Its a big project, but one I am happy to do. I love seeing the photos of friends. loved ones and even past loved ones. Basically to end this rant, if I know you, and have camera in your direction... consider it an honor :) You are a memory to be saved <3
I have always loved pictures! I have just recently started creating some photo albums to enjoy. With the age of digital media, all my photos are on my pc. I recently thought about it and for .13 cents a print are finally sending them to Fred Meyer to print them out. I decided it was important to me to have the physical copies as opposed to digital, reason being, generations from now technology will be so different the only chance of future generations seeing the family pics is to have "paper" copies. I am up to 2010, but lots and lots to go. I also have a box of loose photos that desperately need to go into photo boxes. There is not enough info to place them correctly in an album. Its a big project, but one I am happy to do. I love seeing the photos of friends. loved ones and even past loved ones. Basically to end this rant, if I know you, and have camera in your direction... consider it an honor :) You are a memory to be saved <3
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Daily Prompt ~ O is for Orchestra
Orchestra
I, like many children played the violin when I was in elementary school. I don't know why I quit playing, as it was something I enjoyed. I assume it had something to do with being to disciplined, oh how I hated to practice. While I don't, as an adult regret that I didn't continue playing, I do regret that I did not retain the ability to read music.
I actually am still friends with some of "those kids" from orchestra many a moon ago :)
I, like many children played the violin when I was in elementary school. I don't know why I quit playing, as it was something I enjoyed. I assume it had something to do with being to disciplined, oh how I hated to practice. While I don't, as an adult regret that I didn't continue playing, I do regret that I did not retain the ability to read music.
I actually am still friends with some of "those kids" from orchestra many a moon ago :)
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Daily Prompt ~ N is for Nap
Nap
Naps are highly underrated! I love naps! Its funny how as a child, naptime is the worst thing. Oh how my kids hated nap time, but as a parent, you know they need it. I think a big step in growing up is the want and desire for a nap. I guess you just have to be older to appreciate them! lol
Naps are highly underrated! I love naps! Its funny how as a child, naptime is the worst thing. Oh how my kids hated nap time, but as a parent, you know they need it. I think a big step in growing up is the want and desire for a nap. I guess you just have to be older to appreciate them! lol
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Daily Prompt ~ M is for Mouse
Mouse / Mice / Mousies :)
So as life has gone, I really have very little experience with mice. Most encounters were bc they were being fed to something, but nothing I ever saw to make me afraid of them. When I worked at 7-11 the store had mice, and occasionally on a bathroom break they would make an appearance to say hello.
Mostly I deal with Mousies. Those are Lolas favorite kitty toy. Lola has a basket, yes a basket, full of cat toys and her little mousies are by far favored, and constantly getting lost. I now do "inventory" twice a day and get all the mousies accounted for and back in the basket. She also really digs the catnip fishies that make crinkle noises. She rubs up on those lol Im still unsure what toys Santa Paws will be bringing her this year but I am suspecting another multi pack of her favorite mousies. I saw them in a 12 pack :) Aww I love my kitty!
So as life has gone, I really have very little experience with mice. Most encounters were bc they were being fed to something, but nothing I ever saw to make me afraid of them. When I worked at 7-11 the store had mice, and occasionally on a bathroom break they would make an appearance to say hello.
Mostly I deal with Mousies. Those are Lolas favorite kitty toy. Lola has a basket, yes a basket, full of cat toys and her little mousies are by far favored, and constantly getting lost. I now do "inventory" twice a day and get all the mousies accounted for and back in the basket. She also really digs the catnip fishies that make crinkle noises. She rubs up on those lol Im still unsure what toys Santa Paws will be bringing her this year but I am suspecting another multi pack of her favorite mousies. I saw them in a 12 pack :) Aww I love my kitty!
Monday, December 2, 2013
Daily Prompt ~ L is for List
List
I am a habitual daily list maker. I don't know why, maybe its the crossing off part. I make a daily to do list, and try to include everything down to doing my nails. It was suggested, and tried, that I get a dry erase board for my daily list as it doesn't change much. I got the board, used it for about a week, and then needed the pen and paper version. lol. I also have notebooks of lists. A perfect example would be these prompts. I have lists by letter and when one is picked I highlight and date it. Pages and pages... But I like my lists and notebooks :)
I am a habitual daily list maker. I don't know why, maybe its the crossing off part. I make a daily to do list, and try to include everything down to doing my nails. It was suggested, and tried, that I get a dry erase board for my daily list as it doesn't change much. I got the board, used it for about a week, and then needed the pen and paper version. lol. I also have notebooks of lists. A perfect example would be these prompts. I have lists by letter and when one is picked I highlight and date it. Pages and pages... But I like my lists and notebooks :)
Monday, November 25, 2013
Daily Prompt ~ K is for Kite
Kite
Growing up, home was not the safe, comfortable place that it should be. I also was socially awkward and didn't have many friends. I spent a lot of time at the park across the street from our house. I loved flying kites and spent many hours at the park doing just that. Seeing how high I could get it, hoping the string doesn't break. It was freedom... yet contained. I understood that...
Growing up, home was not the safe, comfortable place that it should be. I also was socially awkward and didn't have many friends. I spent a lot of time at the park across the street from our house. I loved flying kites and spent many hours at the park doing just that. Seeing how high I could get it, hoping the string doesn't break. It was freedom... yet contained. I understood that...
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Daily Prompt ~ J is for Jury Duty
Jury Duty
I've only been called for jury duty once, but it was a learning experience none the less. :) I was called the same week as my 30th birthday, what a welcome. I felt so grown up. I never got picked for any cases, which really was ok by me, but it took so much time daily, to find out you get to go home. IF ever picked again I would happily do it, but I would hope to be picked for a case to get the full experience.
I've only been called for jury duty once, but it was a learning experience none the less. :) I was called the same week as my 30th birthday, what a welcome. I felt so grown up. I never got picked for any cases, which really was ok by me, but it took so much time daily, to find out you get to go home. IF ever picked again I would happily do it, but I would hope to be picked for a case to get the full experience.
Friday, November 22, 2013
Daily Prompt ~ I is for Intelligence
Intelligence
Intelligence is something that is looked at differently when thinking of oneself or if looking at others. When I think about myself, there are a lot of things that I am not very smart about, but I still consider myself a fairly intelligent person.
For me personally, I find intelligence in others to be a very intriguing, and admirable attribute. In men, its especially sexy. A smart man wants to show the world how smart he is, an intelligent man doesn't need too.
Intelligence is something that is looked at differently when thinking of oneself or if looking at others. When I think about myself, there are a lot of things that I am not very smart about, but I still consider myself a fairly intelligent person.
For me personally, I find intelligence in others to be a very intriguing, and admirable attribute. In men, its especially sexy. A smart man wants to show the world how smart he is, an intelligent man doesn't need too.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Thursday evening coffee break
I know its been over a month since I did a coffee break and checked in with the locals. Unfortunately not really much to report...
I did the zombie crawl with several friends as I was looking forward to it last time I checked in. Theresa is an amazing person and good friend and I feel blessed that she has included me in her circle.
My CVS is flaring up again. 2 episodes this month which just sucks. It makes me fearful about going anywhere on holiday... 2 Thanksgivings ago I had to leave early, I don't want that embarrassment again. I feel so bad, I feel like I have ruined too many holidays already. I am in the recovery period of attack now. Ate some soup, tired and still soooooo thirsty! All I have is water and coffee. I just broke down and made some coffee. I must say it is delicious!
The boys are doing well. Liam is so smart, he is such a joy to be around. I don't get to see Collin as often but he knows and loves his "bio Nana". He had an apt in Seattle for a checkup and is doing great. The plates have dissolved in as expected and developmentally he is a healthy happy 2 year old. I love those little guys!!
Winter is poking its head around the corner here in Spokane. We had a couple days with snow but they went away and now its just effing cold! I am not a fan of cold weather!! More reason to hibernate!
I cant think of anything else to really update - - still waiting to hear decision for SSI appeal, love life is non-existant, I can't deny that I am lonely, but I'm getting used to it. I have my cat haha, she loves me!
I did the zombie crawl with several friends as I was looking forward to it last time I checked in. Theresa is an amazing person and good friend and I feel blessed that she has included me in her circle.
My CVS is flaring up again. 2 episodes this month which just sucks. It makes me fearful about going anywhere on holiday... 2 Thanksgivings ago I had to leave early, I don't want that embarrassment again. I feel so bad, I feel like I have ruined too many holidays already. I am in the recovery period of attack now. Ate some soup, tired and still soooooo thirsty! All I have is water and coffee. I just broke down and made some coffee. I must say it is delicious!
The boys are doing well. Liam is so smart, he is such a joy to be around. I don't get to see Collin as often but he knows and loves his "bio Nana". He had an apt in Seattle for a checkup and is doing great. The plates have dissolved in as expected and developmentally he is a healthy happy 2 year old. I love those little guys!!
Winter is poking its head around the corner here in Spokane. We had a couple days with snow but they went away and now its just effing cold! I am not a fan of cold weather!! More reason to hibernate!
I cant think of anything else to really update - - still waiting to hear decision for SSI appeal, love life is non-existant, I can't deny that I am lonely, but I'm getting used to it. I have my cat haha, she loves me!
Daily Prompt ~ H is for Hiccups
Hiccups
Of course I am not a fan of having the hiccups, who is? I get the hiccups several times a day. Its not a long process, 3 or 4 hiccups and then they are gone. I have since discovered it is a side effect of one of my medications. I was off this med briefly and ta-da no more hiccups... but the med turned out to be needed so I'll deal with a minor annoyance. :) I still think it is a strange side effect...
Of course I am not a fan of having the hiccups, who is? I get the hiccups several times a day. Its not a long process, 3 or 4 hiccups and then they are gone. I have since discovered it is a side effect of one of my medications. I was off this med briefly and ta-da no more hiccups... but the med turned out to be needed so I'll deal with a minor annoyance. :) I still think it is a strange side effect...
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Daily Prompt ~ G is for Gerbil
Gerbil
There was a time frame in my adult life that I had pet gerbils. Carmen and Rosa. I don't know why I gave them Hispanic names, but it seemed to fit. First it was just Rosa, but she got lonely and the vet said she needed a friend. I had to get a Vets. opinion bc she was chewing off her own tail. Strange but true, gerbils are self mutilators if lonely or stressed. I had to cauterize her tail in a shot glass of baking soda. Was sad, but she healed fine. That's why we got Carmen. Those girls had quite the setup, trails and treats. They each even had their own giant ball to chase the cats with. That was always good for a laugh. Rosa liked to ride around in my pocket during the day... I miss those little rodents! <3
There was a time frame in my adult life that I had pet gerbils. Carmen and Rosa. I don't know why I gave them Hispanic names, but it seemed to fit. First it was just Rosa, but she got lonely and the vet said she needed a friend. I had to get a Vets. opinion bc she was chewing off her own tail. Strange but true, gerbils are self mutilators if lonely or stressed. I had to cauterize her tail in a shot glass of baking soda. Was sad, but she healed fine. That's why we got Carmen. Those girls had quite the setup, trails and treats. They each even had their own giant ball to chase the cats with. That was always good for a laugh. Rosa liked to ride around in my pocket during the day... I miss those little rodents! <3
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Daily Prompt ~ F is for Fire
Fire
Isn't it odd that fire can be so beautifully calming, yet it is to be feared by the damage it can do. I am lucky that I have never had to personally deal with the damaging effects, but sadly do know people who have lost lives and homes.
One of my favorite memories that could have gone much much worse was when Gary and I thought it would fun to make jiffy pop on the stove and show the kids how we made popcorn old school (before the microwave) lol. It started out simply enough, the tin foil was starting to poof and we could hear the popping. There turned out to be a hole somewhere in the packaging and we had burnt popcorn flying. There may or may not have been a fire in the kitchen that night, but it was fun!
Mostly my memories of fires are pleasant. Whether it be in the fireplace or a campfire in the backyard, there is always something hypnotizing about watching the flames dance, and get lost in them...
Isn't it odd that fire can be so beautifully calming, yet it is to be feared by the damage it can do. I am lucky that I have never had to personally deal with the damaging effects, but sadly do know people who have lost lives and homes.
One of my favorite memories that could have gone much much worse was when Gary and I thought it would fun to make jiffy pop on the stove and show the kids how we made popcorn old school (before the microwave) lol. It started out simply enough, the tin foil was starting to poof and we could hear the popping. There turned out to be a hole somewhere in the packaging and we had burnt popcorn flying. There may or may not have been a fire in the kitchen that night, but it was fun!
Mostly my memories of fires are pleasant. Whether it be in the fireplace or a campfire in the backyard, there is always something hypnotizing about watching the flames dance, and get lost in them...
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Daily Prompt ~ E is for Ex's
Ex's
Being still single at 43, I have too many ex's to name. However I am still friends with 90% of them. Granted their are a couple names from my past that I would change sides of the street rather than pass them on the sidewalk. I think its a good thing, a natural thing, to remain friends after a break up. A good relationship has to have a strong friendship base, or there is nothing to start it on. So that should remain, at least I think so.
Being still single at 43, I have too many ex's to name. However I am still friends with 90% of them. Granted their are a couple names from my past that I would change sides of the street rather than pass them on the sidewalk. I think its a good thing, a natural thing, to remain friends after a break up. A good relationship has to have a strong friendship base, or there is nothing to start it on. So that should remain, at least I think so.
Monday, November 11, 2013
Daily Prompt ~ D is for Drawing
Drawing
I can't draw. I have tried. I even have gone to the websites and through step by step instructions learned how to draw some various things. I don't remember any of it to try to do freehand, nor can I just look at something and draw it. I have great respect and much admiration for those blessed with any gift of art. For me.... I have some cute color books, and I (for the most part) stay in the lines! :)
I can't draw. I have tried. I even have gone to the websites and through step by step instructions learned how to draw some various things. I don't remember any of it to try to do freehand, nor can I just look at something and draw it. I have great respect and much admiration for those blessed with any gift of art. For me.... I have some cute color books, and I (for the most part) stay in the lines! :)
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Daily Prompt ~ C is for Crow
Crow
I have always been a little fascinated with crows. We have had many dwellings that were near nesting trees and boy can they get loud when you have a flock of 40+ cawing at some poor squirrel or cat that got to close. I have seen crows take a cat out of tree, and a squirrell almost off a telephone line. The squirrell was cute, it flipped over and took the rest of the wire, paw after paw grappling style, but he made it!
My favorite crow story however was a couple of years ago. I was out for a walk, and at that time I walked many miles weaving in and out of the neighborhoods. I see a crow a little bit ahead of me, but just standing there. When I get up to his pathway I made a little comment about how he was the brave and cocky one (as he still hadn't flown off) and continued my walk. The crow did move, but it flew just a bit ahead of me and then stayed as if waiting. Even with my twists and turns this crow was 3 steps (so to speak) ahead of me. After at least a mile of this, I jokingly said to the bird "You're not leading me anywhere, this is the direction I need to go!". At that moment the darn thing flew away and did not come back the rest of my journey. It certainly made me wonder what it wanted me to see. :)
I have always been a little fascinated with crows. We have had many dwellings that were near nesting trees and boy can they get loud when you have a flock of 40+ cawing at some poor squirrel or cat that got to close. I have seen crows take a cat out of tree, and a squirrell almost off a telephone line. The squirrell was cute, it flipped over and took the rest of the wire, paw after paw grappling style, but he made it!
My favorite crow story however was a couple of years ago. I was out for a walk, and at that time I walked many miles weaving in and out of the neighborhoods. I see a crow a little bit ahead of me, but just standing there. When I get up to his pathway I made a little comment about how he was the brave and cocky one (as he still hadn't flown off) and continued my walk. The crow did move, but it flew just a bit ahead of me and then stayed as if waiting. Even with my twists and turns this crow was 3 steps (so to speak) ahead of me. After at least a mile of this, I jokingly said to the bird "You're not leading me anywhere, this is the direction I need to go!". At that moment the darn thing flew away and did not come back the rest of my journey. It certainly made me wonder what it wanted me to see. :)
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Daily Prompt ~ B is for Bubbles
Bubbles
One of my family traditions that I grew up with, and did with my own children, was every Christmas we would get Bubbles, Balloons and a Ball. The bubbles were usually my favorite part. One time I found candy bubbles. They blew like regular bubbles, but when popped, the point being to catch it in your mouth, they were flavored. I took those to work, so we could all look silly trying to catch the bubbles lol. Kids and cats seem to be most amused by bubbles and with that Im glad that Liam really likes bubbles too!
One of my family traditions that I grew up with, and did with my own children, was every Christmas we would get Bubbles, Balloons and a Ball. The bubbles were usually my favorite part. One time I found candy bubbles. They blew like regular bubbles, but when popped, the point being to catch it in your mouth, they were flavored. I took those to work, so we could all look silly trying to catch the bubbles lol. Kids and cats seem to be most amused by bubbles and with that Im glad that Liam really likes bubbles too!
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Daily Prompt ~ A is for Aligator
Alligator
Living in the Pacific Northwest all my life, my experience with alligators is very limited. When I was a child, and I believe into early adulthood there was a local pet store that had an alligator in his own little habitat. It was always so fun, and a little scary to go see it. The pet store is still there, I wonder if the alligator is... hmmmm Now I'm curious :) Anyhow, thats my only alligator story, sorry I don't have any good ones!
Side note, some of my favorite "creature feature" movies are the giant alligators and the amazing mutations that Syfy can come up with!
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