Friday evening coffee break

** For those new to my writing, I try to do a "coffee break" post at least once a week.  This is the post where I ramble about myself and what might be new.  I realized its been since the end of November so...

Christmas this year was wonderful.  I spent it with The Grady's and Lily was there also.  Liam did NOT want to go to sleep Christmas eve, so Christmas day the adults opened presents first and we woke him up around noon for his goodies.  This way was he was also the center of attention which he loved dearly!  His favorite gifts were an orange ball, and a Scout toy.  I love being around him so often and watching him learn and grow.  He loves his Nana too!

We will be doing Christmas with Collin this coming weekend.  I am excited (as always) to see him.  He seems to have recognition of me also.  I love his family and always look forward to seeing them as well.

I have let myself get lazy again when it comes to working out.  I need to get back into the good habits, not just slip back into the bad ones.  I am getting the determination back, and will try again tomorrow.  Yesterday I did 30 min on the treadmill but that's not enough!  I have a personal goal for Jan 1st, I'm not going to go into it, but I will tell you if accomplished.  :)  I'm pretty confident though.

Still no word from Dana.  We did get confirmation that she is, or was, in Portland bc she had the hospital send bills to my fathers address.  They sent it back, just as I have done, return to sender, not at this address. It's sad the hole she has put herself into.  As a mother I worry, but I gave her the right tools, she made the choices she has on her own.

I have been episode free from my CVS for 16 weeks now!!  My last episode was September 7th.  I can't remember the last time I made it through both Thanksgiving and Christmas!!  I am so thankful for my Dr and the meds he has me on.  I've not been totally symptom free, but with meds I was able to prevent several small flare ups.  I'm ok with that!  I am happy NOT to have to go to the er!!

It makes me wonder if now I could hold a job.  God knows I want to.  I think I'm gonna start looking  a little harder than I have been, confident that I won't get sick.  If I do, then we know I truly can't work.  We'll see how this turns out!!

Ok lovies, the sleepys are finally taking over so with that I bid you all goodnight!

Daily Prompt: Fresh

 As it is closer and closer to the end of another year my mind went immediately to the thought of a fresh start. I am always so hopeful every year that its going to get better.  2012 had some bright spots, but a lot more darkness than light.  A year ago I was still unemployed and things were unsure with Collin, but I had friends, and romance, and felt I mattered to more than just family.  Now I am so thankful for the few true friends I DO have, and family that has helped me through some of this darkness.

I need a fresh start.  I am ready, and more than owed my dues...  Lets all hope that 2013 is the fresh start we all need! xoxox

Daily Prompt: Feline

It seems that I have always had at least one cat as part of my family.  I really can't even think back in childhood and there was always a feline present.  Our house was always adopted by the neighborhood strays and at least one would stay.

I'm not going to bore you with details of all my kitty loves, but you will (if you continue reading at this point), hear about some of the best.

Growing up we had Garbage.  He was a beautiful long hair grey tabby I believe.   He adopted us and he was awesome.   The other memorable cat growing up was Worthless.  Yes, my parents had a knack for names lol.  But Worthless was part of the family.  He was a handsome Tuxedo kitty who loved my mother fiercely   I know how hard it was when he got so old she had to put him down.  I dread that day with my own Lola.

After leaving home again I had several cats, Charlie, who would fetch sticks, Riff-Raff, who was just awesome in general, GB, who loved to take showers.  He was a silly one!  The bathroom door in my apt wouldn't shut tight so he could always get in, no matter who was in the water.  I think he scared a couple guests lol.  Pepper was one of my most treasured pets.  He was Maine coon and beautiful.  He was huge and ruled any neighborhood we were in.  Unfortunately he got into antifreeze and I lost him.  He was a huge part of our family, and I think Lenee's favorite.

Skipping forward many years, and quite a few cats later I had the one special kitty that for whatever reason he was meant to be mine. The picture above is my Puppycat.  Yes, I named my kitten Puppy.  Puppy had a funny tail that curled up around his body like a pug dog instead of a cat.  Also he would greet you by licking your nose.  He was sooooo wonderful.  Kind of my kitty soul mate. <3  He was an indoor outdoor cat and one heck of a bird catcher.  He brought us 3 in a 4 day time frame.  Sadly he was hit by a car.  I cried for a long time after losing him.    

That is how Lola and Gizmo came into my life. Again see pic above.  They were strays found in a friends garage and maybe 5 weeks old.  Gizmo had a stroke, and congestive heart failure last March, 4 months before his 3rd birthday.  I still have my Lola.  She is a tuxedo goddess, spoiled rotten and knows it.  She actually  seems much happier now that she is the only cat.  I need to get her fixed still, but there are no boy cats to get her anymore. lol

I cant imagine life without a cat in it.  Living alone Lola is my best friend and confidante.  She knows when I need a snuggle and hates it when I'm sick or crying.  She isn't the nicest kitty to anyone else but she loves me and I love her!!

Daily Prompt: Shorts

Shorts... summertime wear for those with legs enough to get away with it!  I, being overweight  and a pasty white Irish woman, have not worn shorts for years!

However, with the loss (so far) of 40 lbs, this might be the summer they come back! :)  I like that there is defined muscle now in my calves.  The scary pasty white thing I can't help though, wear sunglasses if you know I'm coming. lol

I am actually planning to do Bloomsday this year.  As it falls on my 43rd birthday, I think its a great time to show my accomplishments health wise.  Of course I will be wearing the birthday tiara and hopefully will have friends along to make the walk more fun!  5 months... I can do this!!

Daily prompt: Bow

When I first saw that this was the word of the day I felt a little stuck, but then I realized it was because the word bow itself has so many uses...

Tis the season for pretty packages and bows.  I opened a present from a dear friend today that had a beautiful shiny red bow on top.  Some silver curling ribbon as well, which went to Lola making her a very happy kitty!  I earlier was wishing I had captured her on video.  Amity and I were in giggles watching her go.    Growing up we would always recycle the Christmas bows and boxes for as many years as allowed.  I did that as well when the kids were younger.  Its really easy to attach with a little tape! :)

My next thought went to hair bows.  Being the girly girl I am, I used to have several different colors of bows that clipped perfectly at the top of a ponytail.  I still have one but it is red and green with candy canes in the middle.  I dont know what happened to the rest of my collection over the years, but that's the only one left.

Lastly I thought of archery.  Maybe bc I just watched "Once upon a time" and Snow is a badass with a bow and arrow.  I remember doing archery in PE at school, and after I got the hang of it, I was pretty good.  In the beginning I snapped my arm a lot and that hurt.

See.... lots of randomness from one word!

Daily Prompt: Hat

I am not the type of girl who can pull off a stocking cap of baseball cap.  Some woman just look cute in such hats... I am not one of them.

I had a favorite hat when I was younger and found reasons to wear it often.  It was a beautiful rust colored hat with a black velvet bow and black netting.  It was perfect for many an outfit in the 80s lol.  I loved that hat!!  I wish I had pics of that time.  I was young, thin, and kinda hot!  I miss those days....

My life with CVS - kinda deep...

Today my illness came in 9th out of the top 10 rarest diseases.  ( here is link to list and article )  I was glad to see it in print, and to see recognition but that still doesn't cover what this illness (Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome or CVS) has done to me and many others in our day to day lives.

Although I don't remember when I first started getting sick my mother told me it started around 1973 when I was 3 years old.  They came up with different diagnosis, but I can (and might still) list all the different diagnosis between then and August 2007 when the Dr. (I was on a morphine pump and can't remember his name), anyhow he sat down at the foot of my bed, smiled widely and said the words that have changed my life... "I know whats wrong with you" and he handed me a bunch of printout about CVS.  Here was my answer!  He had sent a patient to Seattle just weeks prior who had been diagnosed, making him want to study up on such an illness.  Even recalling that day brings me to tears.  I was finally being validated!!  

Unfortunately it didn't make the difference I thought it would.  I was still treated as if I was crazy, or making myself sick on purpose, or my favorite at the ER was I was a drug seeker.  Its been easier and easier within the last 5 years, but that doesn't change the constant fear of how you will be treated next time you are sick.

I look back at my life (I'm 42, I can get nostalgic) and say that this illness has cost me so much personally!!  It has made me slightly agoraphobic bc I am afraid of excitement starting an episode.  I very rarely will go inside of any restaurant to sit down and dine, bc usually I end up "sick".  Many a 1st date have been ruined by, me needing to go home and barf.  I've had friends mildly offended bc every time I went to their house, I left ill.  Explaining that good excitement sets this off isn't quite comforting.  There was many months that I would get so excited to see Lily that every time she came, I got sick.  Not a fun visit for anyone!!   Employment and relationships have been lost repeatedly....

So now here I sit feeling alone and defeated by this illness.  I haven't worked in almost 1 1/2 years.  I have NO income coming in, no nibbles for work, but with my age and attendance issues I'm not a great candidate in any company.  Tomorrow I am making the call to SSI to get this ball rolling.  I see no other options... this illness is winning....

Daily Prompt: Royalty

Living in the United States, we don't have much to do with true Royalty.  The family "blood lines" don't have the same significance.  I think the closest we have to royalty over here is The Kennedy family.

On that same note, I of course wanted to be a princess when growing up, and even now occasionally lol.  I think all girls, women, want that Prince charming to come and rescue us.  Take us away from reality and find that "true love"

Now I am older, and much more cynical.  I don't really believe much in love anymore.  Scratch that, I do believe in love, it just doesn't believe in me. My prince got lost somewhere along the way.  I don't necessarily need a prince, but it sure would be nice to have a man look at me like I matter.  I miss that...