Daily Prompt ~ Y is for Year

Year

This seemed to be quite the fitting word as the end of 2013 is upon us.  In the looking back, this has not been the best of years for me, nor do I see 2014 being much better.  Im not saying it was all bad.  I made some new friends, tried some new things and tried to be a better person.  Getting the process started with SSI is a huge step, and hopefully 2014 will see an approval.  Still fighting CVS but in compared to past years, this one was minimal, I believe its bc of the meds.  Im just happy they are farther apart!

As for the coming year...  I don't know what it holds, but as I am living in a current grey state of mind, I don't see any changes ahead.

Daily Prompt ~ W is for Whiskers

Whiskers

I used to call my kitty Gizmo "Mr Whiskers" bc he had the longest whiskers I had seen on a cat.  I think he knew it and used it to his advantage as he would often tickle me as he walked by.  Silly thing, lol  I miss him...   I think Miss Lola has the average whiskers, nothing too fly away and a reasonable length.

As far as facial hair, or whiskers, on a man is another story.  I don't mind facial hair as long as its still groomed and decent length.  Some long beards and such just look to scruffy and dirty.

Daily Prompt ~ V is for Venom

Venom

I have been lucky in my 43 years of never truly coming across anything to venomous such as spiders or snakes.  Certainly not that I am complaining, I'm not a fan of the creepy crawlies.  The most common venomous creatures I encounter are people.  I don't understand how some people can be so cruel, heartless and just plain mean to others.... and seem to enjoy it.  I pity them, yet I am usually the one with the hurt feelings.  Sigh...

Daily Prompt ~ U is for Umbrella

Umbrella

When I was working I used to always have my umbrella in my work  bag,  now I carry it in my walking bag.  Silly part is that I rarely use it.  I don't mind getting wet, and if its not to cold I love being out in it.  The smell of rain in the air, and the colors all refreshed or just a different hue, it can be lovely!!

When working, I actually met people as I would be the only smoker in the rain with an umbrella.  It can get pretty cozy lol.

Daily Prompt ~ T is for Touch

Touch

The power of touch can be an amazing thing.  It is well known that babies, especially the premature, benefit greatly from a mothers touch.  A kind pat on the shoulder can lift spirits, and a hug can make an entire day better.  And of course there is a lovers touch.  That chemistry that even a slightest brush against them makes you catch your breath and feel the tingles.   Sigh....  I miss that...

Daily Prompt ~ S is for Success

Success

Sadly this is not a word I am too familiar with, especially lately.  There is not much that I would say that I have ever been "successful" at.  My brother and sister did things right.  They went to college, fell in love, got married and live the normal happy life.  I am the cliche disappointment.  I am unable to work, live in a rented basement room, terrifically undateable and horribly lonely.  Not anything successfull about that....

*** yes I am in a mood, thats the best thing about this being my blog, I can be!  I know Im not the only one who has these thoughts....  its proven almost daily....

Daily Prompt ~ R is for Regret

Regret

I always try to live with no regrets.  I will admit, now that I am older, that I do have a few.  But as "Old blue eyes" would say, still too few to mention.  Even still, everything I have done, or chosen to do, has been a life lesson, good or bad.  If you have lived life without the slightest what if? or why? you have nothing to regret, bc you haven't truly been living.  You have to take those chances, if all goes bad, no regrets... again just a life lesson.

Yes I know this probably sounds silly coming from the woman whose anxiety levels hit a point where I rarely leave the house....  but when I do get out I'm always glad!

Daily Prompt ~ Q is for Quiet

Quiet

I love music.  90% of the time, that is the background noise to my life.  However, sometimes there is nothing sweeter than the sound of silence.  I used to work at 4am, the hours were difficult but it was always so quiet and peaceful in the morning while the rest of the world slept.  Years ago, when it was safer to do so, I used to take late night walks and enjoy the serenity of the night.  Now, thats not even an option.  I hate that the world has changed so its not safe to walk at night.  Now I tend to find quiet serenity in hiding in my room, and occasionally enjoying the quiet of being in my space.

Daily Prompt ~ P is for Photo

Photo

I have always loved pictures!  I have just recently started creating some photo albums to enjoy.   With the age of digital media, all my photos are on my pc.  I recently thought about it and for .13 cents a print are finally sending them to Fred Meyer to print them out.  I decided it was important to me to have the physical copies as opposed to digital, reason being, generations from now technology will be so different the only chance of future generations seeing the family pics is to have "paper" copies.  I am up to 2010, but lots and lots to go.  I also have a box of loose photos that desperately need to go into photo boxes.  There is not enough info to place them correctly in an album.  Its a big project, but one I am happy to do.  I love seeing the photos of friends. loved ones and even past loved ones.  Basically to end this rant, if I know you, and have camera in your direction... consider it an honor  :)  You are a memory to be saved  <3

Daily Prompt ~ O is for Orchestra

Orchestra

I, like many children played the violin when I was in elementary school.  I don't know why I quit playing, as it was something I enjoyed.  I assume it had something to do with being to disciplined, oh how I hated to practice.  While I don't, as an adult regret that I didn't continue playing, I do regret that I did not retain the ability to read music.

I actually am still friends with some of "those kids" from orchestra many a moon ago  :)

Daily Prompt ~ N is for Nap

Nap

Naps are highly underrated!  I love naps!  Its funny how as a child, naptime is the worst thing.  Oh how my kids hated nap time, but as a parent, you know they need it.  I think a big step in growing up is the want and desire for a nap.  I guess you just have to be older to appreciate them! lol

Daily Prompt ~ M is for Mouse

Mouse / Mice / Mousies :)

So as life has gone, I really have very little experience with mice.  Most encounters were bc they were being fed to something, but nothing I ever saw to make me afraid of them.  When I worked at 7-11 the store had mice, and occasionally on a bathroom break they would make an appearance to say hello.

Mostly I deal with Mousies. Those are Lolas favorite kitty toy.  Lola has a basket, yes a basket, full of cat toys and her little mousies are by far favored, and constantly getting lost.  I now do "inventory" twice a day and get all the mousies accounted for and back in the basket.  She also really digs the catnip fishies that make crinkle noises.  She rubs up on those lol  Im still unsure what toys Santa Paws will be bringing her this year but I am suspecting another multi pack of her favorite mousies.  I saw them in a 12 pack  :)  Aww I love my kitty!

Daily Prompt ~ L is for List

List

I am a habitual daily list maker.  I don't know why, maybe its the crossing off part.  I make a daily to do list, and try to include everything down to doing my nails.  It was suggested, and tried, that I get a dry erase board for my daily list as it doesn't change much.  I got the board, used it for about a week, and then needed the pen and paper version.  lol.  I also have notebooks of lists.  A perfect example would be these prompts.  I have lists by letter and when one is picked I highlight and date it.  Pages and pages...  But I like my lists and notebooks  :)

Daily Prompt ~ K is for Kite

Kite

Growing up, home was not the safe, comfortable place that it should be.  I also was socially awkward and didn't have many friends.  I spent a lot of time at the park across the street from our house.  I loved flying kites and spent many hours at the park doing just that.  Seeing how high I could get it, hoping the string doesn't break.  It was freedom... yet contained.  I understood that...  

Daily Prompt ~ J is for Jury Duty

Jury Duty


I've only been called for jury duty once, but it was a learning experience none the less.  :)   I was called the same week as my 30th birthday, what a welcome.  I felt so grown up.  I never got picked for any cases, which really was ok by me, but it took so much time daily, to find out you get to go home.   IF ever picked again I would happily do it, but I would hope to be picked for a case to get the full experience.

Daily Prompt ~ I is for Intelligence

Intelligence

Intelligence is something that is looked at differently when thinking of oneself or if looking at others.  When I think about myself, there are a lot of things that I am not very smart about, but I still consider myself a fairly intelligent person.

For me personally, I find intelligence in others to be a very intriguing, and admirable attribute.  In men, its especially sexy.  A smart man wants to show the world how smart he is, an intelligent man doesn't need too.

Thursday evening coffee break

I know its been over a month since I did a coffee break and checked in with the locals.  Unfortunately not really much to report...

I did the zombie crawl with several friends as I was looking forward to it last time I checked in.  Theresa is an amazing person and good friend and I feel blessed that she has included me in her circle.

My CVS is flaring up again.  2 episodes this month which just sucks.  It makes me fearful about going anywhere on holiday... 2 Thanksgivings ago I had to leave early, I don't want that embarrassment again.  I feel so bad,  I feel like I have ruined too many holidays already.   I am in the recovery period of attack now.  Ate some soup, tired and still soooooo thirsty!  All I have is water and coffee.  I just broke down and made some coffee.  I must say it is delicious!

The boys are doing well.  Liam is so smart, he is such a joy to be around.  I don't get to see Collin as often but he knows and loves his "bio Nana".  He had an apt in Seattle for a checkup and is doing great.  The plates have dissolved in as expected and developmentally he is a healthy happy 2 year old.  I love those little guys!!

Winter is poking its head around the corner here in Spokane.  We had a couple days with snow but they went away and now its just effing cold!  I am not a fan of cold weather!!  More reason to hibernate!

I cant think of anything else to really update - - still waiting to hear decision for SSI appeal, love life is non-existant,  I can't deny that I am lonely, but I'm getting used to it.  I have my cat haha, she loves me!

Daily Prompt ~ H is for Hiccups

Hiccups

Of course I am not a fan of having the hiccups, who is?  I get the hiccups several times a day.  Its not a long process, 3 or 4 hiccups and then they are gone.  I have since discovered it is a side effect of one of my medications.  I was off this med briefly and ta-da no more hiccups... but the med turned out to be needed so I'll deal with a minor annoyance.  :)   I still think it is a strange side effect...

Daily Prompt ~ G is for Gerbil

Gerbil

There was a time frame in my adult life that I had pet gerbils.  Carmen and Rosa.  I don't know why I gave them Hispanic names, but it seemed to fit.  First it was just Rosa, but she got lonely and the vet said she needed a friend.  I had to get a Vets. opinion bc she was chewing off her own tail.  Strange but true, gerbils are self mutilators if lonely or stressed.  I had to cauterize her tail in a shot glass of baking soda.  Was sad, but she healed fine.  That's why we got Carmen.  Those girls had quite the setup, trails and treats.  They each even had their own giant ball to chase the cats with.  That was always good for a laugh.  Rosa liked to ride around in my pocket during the day...  I miss those little rodents! <3

Daily Prompt ~ F is for Fire

Fire

Isn't it odd that fire can be so beautifully calming, yet it is to be feared by the damage it can do.  I am lucky that I have never had to personally deal with the damaging effects, but sadly do know people who have lost lives and homes.

One of my favorite memories that could have gone much much worse was when Gary and I thought it would fun to make jiffy pop on the stove and show the kids how we made popcorn old school (before the microwave) lol.  It started out simply enough, the tin foil was starting to poof and we could hear the popping.  There turned out to be a hole somewhere in the packaging and we had burnt popcorn flying.  There may or may not have been a fire in the kitchen that night, but it was fun!

Mostly my memories of fires are pleasant.  Whether it be in the fireplace or a campfire in the backyard, there is always something hypnotizing about watching the flames dance, and get lost in them...

Daily Prompt ~ E is for Ex's

Ex's

Being still single at 43, I have too many ex's to name. However I am still friends with 90% of them.  Granted their are a couple names from my past that I would change sides of the street rather than pass them on the sidewalk.  I think its a good thing, a natural thing, to remain friends after a break up.  A good relationship has to have a strong friendship base, or there is nothing to start it on.  So that should remain, at least I think so.

Daily Prompt ~ D is for Drawing

Drawing

I can't draw.   I have tried.  I even have gone to the websites and through step by step instructions learned how to draw some various things.  I don't remember any of it to try to do freehand, nor can I just look at something and draw it.   I have great respect and much admiration for those blessed with any gift of art.  For me....  I have some cute color books, and I (for the most part) stay in the lines! :)

Daily Prompt ~ C is for Crow

Crow

I have always been a little fascinated with crows.   We have had many dwellings that were near nesting trees and boy can they get loud when you have a flock of 40+ cawing at some poor squirrel or cat that got to close.  I have seen crows take a cat out of tree, and a squirrell almost off a telephone line.  The squirrell was cute, it flipped over and took the rest of the wire, paw after paw  grappling style, but he made it!

My favorite crow story however was a couple of years ago.  I was out for a walk, and at that time I walked many miles weaving in and out of the neighborhoods.  I see a crow a little bit ahead of me, but just standing there.  When I get up to his pathway I made a little comment about how he was the brave and cocky one (as he still hadn't flown off) and continued my walk.  The crow did move, but it flew just a bit ahead of me and then stayed as if waiting.  Even with my twists and turns this crow was 3 steps (so to speak) ahead of me.  After at least a mile of this, I jokingly said to the bird "You're not leading me anywhere, this is the direction I need to go!".  At that moment the darn thing flew away and did not come back the rest of my journey.  It certainly made me wonder what it wanted me to see.  :)

Daily Prompt ~ B is for Bubbles

Bubbles


One of my family traditions that I grew up with, and did with my own children, was every Christmas we would get Bubbles, Balloons and a Ball.  The bubbles were usually my favorite part.  One time I found candy bubbles.  They blew like regular bubbles, but when popped, the point being to catch it in your mouth, they were flavored.  I took those to work, so we could all look silly trying to catch the bubbles lol.  Kids and cats seem to be most amused by bubbles and with that Im glad that Liam really likes bubbles too!

Daily Prompt ~ A is for Aligator

Alligator

Living in the Pacific Northwest all my life, my experience with alligators is very limited.   When I was a child, and I believe into early adulthood there was a local pet store that had an alligator in his own little habitat.  It was always so fun, and a little scary to go see it.  The pet store is still there, I wonder if the alligator is...  hmmmm  Now I'm curious  :)  Anyhow, thats my only alligator story, sorry I don't have any good ones!  

Side note, some of my favorite "creature feature" movies are the giant alligators and the amazing mutations that Syfy can come up with!

Daily Prompt ~ Y is for Yardwork

Yardwork


I have never liked doing yardwork.  Even as a child I would prefer to wash dishes than weed the garden.  I look at all the beautiful fall leaves, and am so thankful that I don't have to worry about such things.  When I eventually do move it will be to an apt so yardwork still won't be my problem.

There is one exception and that is I loved having a nice flower garden in the front yard.  That was always a nice sight.   Seems like forever ago!

Daily Prompt ~ W is for Whistle / Whistling

Whistle

Ok, confession time... I at the prime age of 43 still cannot whistle.  I know it seems like such a simple thing, but for whatever reason, my mouth doesn't work that way! lol  I have tried the screeching whistle through the fingers, and couldn't do that either.  No need to offer to teach, its been done.  I just accept that fact, that I can't whistle  :)  Now you know one of my little secrets hahaha

Daily Prompt ~ V is for Vapor

Vapor

I am trying the e-cig again.  I have one that I had used in the past but I had 2 major complaints about and why it was so hard to stick with it.  First, with the oil, sometimes it would leak and get on my lips and it was gross, Second complaint, you had to push a button to smoke, thereby not seeming like a real replacement.  Well both of those things can be found in the Blu e-cig.  Its light, activated by taking a drag, so it feels like smoking.  But its still vapor, not smoke.  I'm using it mostly as a tool to cut down on smoking and that is working well.  I often would chain smoke, or let a ciggerette just burn as I got distracted, now I time my "smoke breaks" with 2 hrs between, however it has now been over 3 hrs and I still haven't had the need for a "real" ciggerette so I think thats a good thing.  Who knows, maybe this will work.  :)

Daily Prompt... U is for Unable

Unable

Sadly this is a word I am too familiar with, and it is my own doing.  I am trying to break this rut, trying to be social etc.  In small doses I am doing better.  Kinda...   Even when out with friends I am still fighting that anxiety that builds.  I feel so unable to control my thoughts, emotions and self.  Just lost...

Daily Prompt ~ T is for tree

Tree

I don't have a lot of childhood memories, but a large consistency of those I do have involve a park across the street and climbing trees in general.  I loved climbing trees, usually with book in pocket.  I would sit in my perch, fairly high up, and just enjoy the solitude.  I felt like it was my own secret safe spot.  Luckily I never fell out lol

Daily Prompt ~ S is for Sassy

Sassy

I must admit to being called sassy more than once in my life, but my attitude and mouth control has grown up as I have.  Sometimes a smart ass comment will still escape but thats what makes life more interesting!

When I was 15, almost 16, I was in my first foster home.  It was a new, slightly terrifying experience but again I did what I had been taught about survival skills and made the most of it.  There I was allowed my first true pet.  I had had other pets but they were family cats and never "mine".  I was allowed a kitten, and found an adorable long hair tuxedo baby girl that I named Sassy.  It was cool having an animal that loved me back, especially in that time when I felt like I had no one.  Sadly not knowing anything about the Foster care system, I was moved fairly quickly and the new foster parents would not allow me to bring a cat.  I found a good home for her, but still remember her as MY first pet.  Ironically many years later the girl that I had given her too came into the restaurant I was working at and remembered me.  She actually had pics of Sassy with her and she had grown into a beautiful adult cat.  I was glad I made the right choice.

I have had many cats since then.  Only a few made have made the special place in my heart, above and beyond the normal love of a pet.  Sassy of course bc she was the first pet who was mine and loved me, Riff, just bc he was awesome, Pepper whom we had for years and was just a great family cat, I think he was mostly Lenee's cat as he grew, they had a special bond.  The last few pussycats on my list are Puppy and of course Gizmo and Lola.  Puppy picked me.  I still get a little sad when I think of him and miss him terribly.  He was so sweet and so smart.  He loved to lick your nose to say hello.  So sweet.    Gizmo and Lola were given to Mike and I after Puppy was hit by a car.  When Mike and I broke up, I got custody of the cats.  We didn't want to seperate them as they were brother and sister and had never been apart.  Last year I came home to find Gizzy paralyzed from the groin down.  I (of course) freaked out and got him to a vet within 10 min.  Sadly he had congestive heart failure and it was a blood clot that had traveled and paralyzed him.  I said a very tearful goodbye and had him put down 3-16-12.  Now I just have Lola.  She is bi-polar, scratched almost everyone at least once but is becoming more and more of a lovie cat.  I think she likes it being just her and I.  She really has become nicer to everyone now that its just her.  She has a basket full of toys and her own  little kitty tower, scratching post.   With just a look I know when she wants a hug or some other form of attention.  At night, no matter where she is, as soon as the light is off she jumps on the bed to tell me goodnight.  I love her!!

Thursday morning coffee break...

Oh the chill is definitely in the air, welcome fall!  Even in this chilly weather I still like to have my window at least cracked for the fresh air. Brrr, but thats what a sweater is for lol :)

Sadly not a lot going on in my little world.  Still fighting for SSI and trying to survive.   I think that we are on the right track for the meds as I am feeling a little better.  I still have trouble leaving the house, but getting better.  I wish my friends understood why its hard for me.  But I guess the loneliness is all part of illness.  It just sucks!

So recently Dana gave us quite the scare.  We, as a family, know about Dana's issues and adding drug use to that makes her even less trustworthy and more to fear.  On Sept 11th two detectives came to my door looking for her.  They were unaware that I was her mother, so I am glad they found me.  They were concerned bc she was a "missing witness" in a key case in Pend 'Oreille county. They needed her testimony to keep a baddie in jail.  She was not located by the 19th so the charges were dismissed, but still no Dana.  At that time she went from "missing witness" to "missing person".   I learned very quickly that when a witness is missing they go all out looking, however missing persons are just another name on the pile.  Its up to family and friends to find a missing adult.  Thank goodness for the power of the internet.  Her pic was shared over 3000 times on facebook within the first 24 hours.  By the end of the weekend she called crime check herself, tweaked out from what it sounds like, and told them she was not missing and to leave her alone. My heart breaks that she has made these choices, but I've done all I can do for her.

As for the rest of us, things are well.  Both Liam and Collin are now 2.  We had wonderful parties for them both.  Collin is with such a wonderful family.  I love them, and couldn't wish for anything better from him.  Liams party was quite fun.  Its nice to see Lenee have such a wonderful family of her own!!

Not really much else to visit about.  I have a very boring existence....  as I keep reminding ya'll  :)  Romance is non-existant, but I am understanding about that, hell, I wouldn't even want to date me.  lol  I was told once that some people are just meant to be alone, they don't have that "sparkle" to share with another.  A nice way of saying, you are destined to a life with cats.

I am planning on being somewhat social this weekend, and there will be pics as proof.  lol  Tomorrow should be another horror movie night with friends, of course at my place, which is nice.  Saturday I am doing something I am quite excited about.  Ive always wanted to do a pub crawl, but have never had the opportunity.  Saturday my friends bought me a ticket for Spokane's first Zombie crawl.  Dressed in our best zombie gear, there are 8 bars and t shirt at the end.  It should be a whole lot of fun!  Im excited to be part of it, and grateful to have such good friends to treat me to such an event!

Well, coffee is empty so thats my cue... hope all is well!  Also thank you for reading my little blurbs of nothingness.   :)

Daily Prompt ~ R is for Radio

Radio

I must confess I hardly ever listen to the radio anymore.  Most radio time was while in car, now that I no longer drive... yeah

I do listen to internet radio as in Pandora and 2 of my friends are DJ's online but thats really not the same thing.  With Pandora or my own itunes to listen to, there just isn't that need in my life.  Strange some of the things I don't realise I miss until I really think about it.  Technology has replaced many things but I admit I love having my music easily accessible!

Daily Prompt ~ Q is for question

Question

I'm full of questions.  Most will never be asked to the appropriate parties, but I still have them.  When learning new things I will question until I feel I know what is needed and I am never afraid to stop a conversation to ask the meaning of a new word.  Questions keep us wondering, keeps our minds busy.  When you stop asking questions, you stop learning and what is life without constant lessons and learning each day.



*** side note, and random question...  I do another blog.  Its a scary movie blog, short, sweetish and to the point with no spoilers.  Do you think I should also link it to my facebook so that you can read it like this one.  Please let me know  :)

Daily Prompt ~ P is for Packrat

Packrat

I used to be a packrat.  I had the boxes of holiday stuff, for most holidays, the craft box, the cross stitch box, the old magazines etc... and usually could find uses for items.  The last 4 years of just renting a room has taken care of a lot of those things.  I now have what I need for basic comfort and boxes of stuff, several of those are all Christmas :)

I have realized with getting rid of so much and starting over, that I am still a hoarder of books.  I am always willing to give them a good home, sometimes (often lately) I don't read them... but can't turn down free books!  Thats just... bad!

I don't know what my home will be like when I do move from here... its still a long way off, but an exciting thought!

Daily Prompt ~ O is for Observe

Observe

I usually am a pretty social person, but in new situations my anxiety will often kick in... Thats when people watching, observing all around you, you can learn so much and be totally entertained.  As much as I hate to admit it, but Walmart is also a fairly entertaining place just to people watch.  I like to wonder what their life is really like.  Are they coming from work, or are they in the oh so casual pj pants. lol  Its fun to try to figure people out just by sight, or make a scenario up.  Sometimes snarky comments have to be made! lol

My daughter is missing

Ok, so here is the whats going on in my world. Last week a detective came to my home looking for Dana. She has not been seen since Sept 4th around 2am leaving a park in Browns Addition. I spoke with him again today and he said to give him a week, before we file an official missing persons case, so she is not an official "missing person", however there are a lot of other factors within her lifestyle that has me terrified for her. Here is her picture, also known as Danielle she has been known to be in Portland, Vancouver, Olympia and Seattle, and Pend O'riele County. If seen please contact me immediately Anjithoren@hotmail.com. Please share...

Daily Prompt ~ N is for Nephew

Nephew

What a great word of the day for today.  I am the proud Aunt of Max, my only nephew and today is his first birthday.  Sadly I have never met the little darling in person, but have seen lots of pics.  As my brother and his wife live in different state, I just don't have the traveling ability.  Also sadly, my brother and I aren't that close.  I do look forward to a day when we can get Max, Liam and Collin all together.  It would be so fun, and I know my dad would be overjoyed.  Hes so happy to have boys in the family again, since I only seem to produce girls. lol

It was cool to finally become an Aunt.  I had been a Grandma for over a year before finally getting that title.  :)

Daily prompt ~ M is for Mile

Mile

Even as a child, doing those horrid PE classes, I hated the dreaded timed mile run we had to do twice a year.  It seemed such a long way to run.  Oh how I hated it!

Now as a middle aged adult, I still can't imagine running a mile, ( unless being chased by someone or something)  but now I can easily handle walking it without issue.  I remember when I started this weight loss journey my first walk was 1.09 miles and I thought I was going to die!  lol  Now, once that milestone was passed with Amity we won't go under.  Of course that is not a bad thing!  Someday I will do a 5k, thats a goal of mine, but I want it to be a fun one :)

Daily prompt ~ Lighter

Lighter

Its the strangest phenomenon but one many others can attest too, lighters are like a childs paci and disappear randomly.  Or even better, if you have many, they will all die at the same time.  Soooo frustrating!  I have been caught in a super stressful situation where all I wanted was a smoke - - and no fire to be found.  As a result I have a back up lighter and books of matches in my purse at all times!  :) 

Daily Prompt ~ Keepsake

Keepsake

I love keepsakes, and trinkets.  I have a large treasure chest and a smaller one.  The treasures inside vary, but I know the story behind most.  Some are obvious, cards, a playbill or movie ticket stub from dates, my children's report cards and artwork, love letters and old journals.  Some are not so obvious to most, a rock, a lighter, or a tiny porcelain duck.  All my treasures.

I love trinket boxes too.  I may not have anything to put in them, but still like the way they look.  I want a puzzle box, but have never gone to truly purchase.  Trinket boxes are easy to find at most thrift stores, then they have a story...

Daily Prompt ~ Jump

Jump

As most of you know, I love bunnies!  They are my favorite animal.  I have of course the cute collection of ceramics, stuffies, an oil painting and even bunny jewelry.  I have had a couple different pet rabbits, but Stephen was my favorite.  I was able to box train him, and he had stairs so he could sleep with me at night.  I loved that boy!  He was a large Florida white and sooooo affectionate!  The girls would go to the corner store on weekends and they would give us the not quite fresh produce, but good for rabbits.  Stephen ate good on weekends.  lol

Another of my favorite things about bunnies are the show jumping bunnies!  I would love to have a bunny to train to jump like that!!  If you haven't seen them in action check it out here! Too cute too miss! As I close I will end with a picture of me and Stephen on the day we met  :)

Monday afternoon coffee break

I know it has been almost a month again.  Truth is, there just isn't much to talk about on day to day basis.  I really am that boring!!

On the personal level, I am still fighting this depression.  We tried an initial adding of meds after the last meltdown, but still wasn't enough.  I was doing better, for the most part.  I had begun walking on daily basis again, and in return losing a little of the weight put back on.  I was beginning to feel social and a little more me.  Then came the monthly surge of hormones....  It was bad again. Back to where I started with last months meltdown. I spent a day crying over nothing and everything, my self loathing was strong, my sense of purpose lost, again I went into that strange autopilot mode and hurt myself, waiting, hoping, that it would hurt this time and let me know I was still capable of feeling anything other than despair.  I wanted to hide, but at the same time just wished I had someone who could just hold me and reassure me that its all ok.  Of course that didn't happen.  However James turned out to be my hero of the evening.  He was online and initiated conversation.  He turned on a new station calling it Anji Fm, since I was the only listener and playing things I would like.  Even only via computer he kept me "company" until after 4am, and distracted me enough that I quit crying and became functional.  I don't know how that night would have ended without him.  I'm glad we're friends again!

So with that meltdown came days of insomnia, no exercise in almost a week now, and a Dr apt last Friday.  They have upped my meds again, hoping we can get the right combo.  I really, really hope so, but feel we won't really know until next month when PMS hits again.  Oh fingers crossed!   I hate being out of control like that.  I'm even trying to get the uummpphhh enough to work out tonight.  I haven't even been thinking about it for a bit, that's a good sign I think! Tomorrow we are walking!  I need to get back on track.

On the financial area of things.... they still suck!!  I got my first denial from SSI with a pretty lame as excuse for denial, so I am going to appeal.  I hope I don't have to lawyer up, but I am beginning to see it is the only option if I want this done.  I can't live on $120 a month.  Its only the middle of the month, and I'm out of things needed, right now major is cat litter.  Sigh....  I'm a bad kitty mommy!  At least she has food!

Romantically.....  things are (as always) in that lovely grey area.  I can't seem to break trend of wanting the unattainable.  Falling for the men that will never love me back.  Its easier to hide, I keep trying to remember that.

Family is all doing well as far as I know.  Collin is now two.  Such a big, beautiful boy!  He still has those amazing eyes, and a head full of curls.  I wish we could see him more, but understand how busy things can be.  I haven't got to hang out with Liam recently, every time they needed a sitter I had an appointment of one kind or the other.  Still have at least 2 more before end of month.  Its so nice to have medical!  But today Lenee posted a video of him, he really likes grapes haha.  I love those boys!  Still no contact with Danielle.  Even though I need to protect myself and remember this is for the best, it still hurts a mothers heart.  I worry for her and hope good things every day for her.  Sadly the last time I saw her physically she looked "pharmaceutically skinny".  I would bet money (if I had any) that she is on meth, and doing god knows what to get it.  Hopefully she isn't to lost, and someday she will get the help she needs thus allowing her back into the family.  The last time seeing Lily was when we went to see her in the play.  She is 16 now and growing into such a beautiful young woman.  Her new beau is a little cutie pie too.  I like seeing her happy!!

Well, sadly that's really about it.  This week I have a movie night scheduled with a friend who likes horror movies as much as I do.  If you like a good gory movie, watch "The Collection", available now on streaming Netflix.  OMG!  Its a crazy movie but  awesome, and as I posted in my movie blog, Was It Scary, one of the best mass execution scenes ever!  Other than that no plans.  The gang is going to karaoke on Friday, and a friend is having birthday party at same bar Saturday.  I don't know if I'm up for either.  I said I would go on Friday for disco night.  It will be fun, however the more I think about it, the more unsure I am about going.  Being mildly agoraphobic gets even more than mild when depressed.  Even if I went I'd be afraid of being the wet blanket and I wouldn't want to ruin everyone else's good time.  Hmm... I think I settled my mind on this topic.  Hahaha

Daily prompt ~ Idea

Idea

I enjoy writing but coming up with idea's on my own seems to be difficult.  That is why I do this, the little ramblings based on a one word idea.  The list I use is A to Z and simple enough (in theory) to pick a word out of the list on appropriate letter.  My problem with the "master list" is that some letters only have two or three words to choose from.  Heres where I need your help.  My idea is this, please leave a comment with any one word prompts that at some point will be picked and rambled about.  I need lots more words!  Thank you dear readers  <3

Daily Prompt ~ Hands

Hands

I have never been too happy with my hands.  I have small hands with short chubby fingers.  When I was younger I bit my nails to the bloody quicks which never helped.  With sausage fingers, and no fingernails, it looked terriblee.  When available finacially I used to pay to get my nails done.  I always felt just a little prettier when I bought nails.  When I did finally quit biting my nails in 2007, I became obsessed with keeping them perfectly shaped and polished.  I now have quite the collection, and possibly an addiction to nail polish.  There are always so many pretty new colors!!  I try to do them at least once a week, but often will get bored and change them more often.  So now I have pretty nails, and middle aged hands.  Its wierd when you start to notice things looking "older".  My hands seem worn, skin almost loose and every scar and scratch ever had seems to show up more.  Also now I am getting the pangs of arthritis in the joints...  getting old sucks!!



Today's prompt again brought to us by Scruffy-loves LJ

Daily prompt ~ Gift

Gift

Who doesn't love presents?  But its true that the greatest gifts cant be wrapped and handed over.  The gift of time, the gift of love, the gift of conversation etc.  I try to present those in my life with whatever they need, sometimes even if that is the gift of absence.

Daily Prompt ~ Fly

Fly

So as most of you know I live with my very spoiled bi-polar cat Lola, who is my kitty soul mate.  Part of the understanding between person and a mighty feline huntress like Lola is that if there is a bug the cats job is to catch said creepy crawly and make it lunch!  Well, not in our case.  Lola will point them out, then back up and wait for me to kill it.  She will continue pointing it out until it either disappears or I get it.  Today however, she stalked and caught a fly.  She even did the little butt wiggle right before pouncing.  I was very proud of her, and I think she was of herself too.  The mighty feline huntress...

Today's prompt brought to us again by Scruffy-love's LJ.  I really like the alphabetized list, if you couldn't tell lol

Daily Prompt ~ Eyes

Eyes

When asked what is something I notice first about a person I will usually answer eyes.  The old saying about eyes being the window to the soul I believe to be so true.  Emotions and thoughts that cannot be placed into words can often be seen in the eyes.  Complete conversations with just a look...

My eyes can get me into trouble as they are too expressive.  Some people wear their heart on their sleeve, mine is in the eyes.  According to a couple past gentlemen friends, my eyes also change when angry or frisky.  I think its probably a good thing that I can't see them myself. lol


Today's prompt brought to us by Scruffy-love's LJ

Daily Prompt ~ Delicate

Delicate

Recently when I was housesitting a friend and I were sitting on the front porch, enjoying a nice summer day when we noticed something on her phone screen.  It was a tiny, delicate wing... of something.  It was so beautiful in its delicacy and we tried saving it, but somehow it got lost.  I like to think that it was a fairy wing, someone saying hello that morning.  :)


Today's prompt brought to us by scruffy-love lj

Daily Prompt: Cards

Cards

I love when one words brings up so many different thoughts.

My first thought was the decline of cards we receive in the mail.  I used to love my birthday time, and anxiously awaiting for the mail to see if I got any cards.   Now they hardly arrive in person lol.  I like to give cards, for any reason.  If I have a gentleman in my life I often like to surprise him with the little "Im thinking of you" cards.  Its usually not reciprocated, but thats ok, I still enjoy doing it.

My other thought was card games.  I miss a good game of cribbage, thats not computer players.  I love to play rummy but its not thought about when hanging out.  All of that has also moved to more electronic choices.

I see a pattern here.... ;)

Today's prompt brought to us by scruffy-loves lj

Daily Prompt: Books

Books

I love books, even though with the joy of the computer I certainly don't read like I used too, which is a shame and something I should work on.  My love of books was installed in me by my parents.  I still have my copy of "Little Women" that my mother inscribed to me Christmas of 1975 and the box set of the Winnie the Pooh books.  Those are a couple of my treasures. Of course I also have many classics such as "Jane Eyre", "Watership down", Dickens, Poe, Grimm etc...  My collection now is mostly horror or true crime books.  I love them!

I have noticed though that I am a book hoarder.  Even if I don't read it, I want it bc sometime I will have time to read it, and books aren't something you throw away.  :)  


Today's prompt brought to us by Scruffy-love lj

Daily Prompt ~ List 10 (or more) things that make you smile

Ten things that make me smile  (in no particular order)

1.   friends and family (of course get the easy one out of the way)
2.   new music that is love at first song
3.   the first cup of coffee in the morning
4.   bunnies
5.   seeing (or even just thinking) about the way "he" looks and smiles at me
6.   a perfect manicure
7.   presents
8.   my kitty Lola
9.   the sound of rain outside my window
10.  chocolate  :)



Today's prompt brought to us by journaling prompts

Daily Prompt ~ Ash

Ash

Living in Spokane Washington most of my life, I like many of will think of May 18th, 1980, the day Mt. St. Helens erupted when we think of the word ash.  I was ten years old, and my siblings were 5 and 2 months.  My mom was in the hospital and dad had kid duty.  I think it was a particularly difficult time getting baby Catie to sleep so he sent Jon and I outside to play so the house was quiet.  The sky was getting dark and we complained, bc we didn't want to get wet.  I remember my dad saying "a little rain wont hurt ya" and the door closed.  I don't know how long we were outside but the ash had begun falling from the sky, and we were confused.  My father saw a broadcast and quickly called us in.  The next few days were fascinating.  The world outside was different, deserted and covered in piles of grey.  As a child, I don't know what clean up was like, I do know that we weren't allowed outside without a mask bc you didn't want to breathe it in.  We scooped some in a jar... that I still have today  :)

Today's prompt brought to us by Scruffy-Love's LJ

Daily prompt - Wild horse

Wild Horse

When I think of wild horses my mind immediately goes to movie mode.  The movie in particular is "Nights in Rodanthe".    It supposed to be an urban legend of sorts about the wild mustangs running down the beach.  Of course no one has ever seen them, but everyone knows they are there.  It seems such a casual mention in the midst of a beautiful love story.  Like most love stories it has a tragic ending and as your heart is breaking right along with the character (cant give too much away lol), we see them.  The wild mustangs running the beach.  They are so free, so majestic, so beautiful... and of course make you cry a little more.  The symbolism in that one scene is obviously one of my favorites.  :)



Today's prompt is brought to us by Velvet Verbosity.

Hi, remember me?

So looking back I have been a horrible blogger and not written anything since March.  There are some good reasons for that, but I am back and going to try to be more honest and diligent about my writing.

I, like many have issues with depression.  It goes way back, even to things I can't remember.  Usually however the darkness was pushed aside to take care of everyone else.  Now its just me, alone with my thoughts, alone with the darkness.  As a result, I floundered.  As the months have progressed, I have hurt myself, I have quit going out with friends, even the walking group that I love dearly seemed overwhelming and too many people.  My agoraphobia in general has increased in a frightening capacity, but I am ok with 1 to 3 people at a time.  Another thing I am working on.  :)  We have been trying different antidepressants and hoping to find the right combination so I can feel like me again.  I hate feeling so lost, drowning...  and Im getting to tired to pretend anymore.

I did take a big step yesterday and went to Pullman to see Lily preform in a play.  She had two different parts in "The Stinky Cheeseman and other fairly stupid tales".  It was very cute and quite a few talented children.  Afterwards Brad and I went along to the cast party which was also very nice.  It was hard being around so many people I didn't know, but really glad that B was by my side.  He has a calming effect on me, its nice!

Physically I am doing good.  My last full CVS episode was in May (happy birthday to me), but they are definitely fewer and farther apart.  I still have one or two mini attacks a week, but with my at home regiment I have been able to avoid the er.  Yay!!  Sure beats being at the hospital 2ce a month!!

Collin will be 2 tomorrow.  Where does the time go?  He is so happy, and his new family is amazing!  We couldn't have asked for anyone better to love him and give him the life and love he deserves! I also count myself to be blessed that they are kind, caring people who still will allow the rest of us in his life.  Hes always full of love and cuddles when we see him.  He and Liam have fun when together!

Oh my Liam.  He is my bright spot on the gloomiest days.  I am lucky enough to get to hang with him almost weekly.  He is so smart and growing so fast.  He will be 2 in September.  Lenee and Sean are so good with him, its a joy to see.  I'm glad Lenee grew up and has the family she so deserves! <3

Other than those basics, things are still pretty much the same over here in my own little corner of Oz.  I am still in the SSI process, but steps are being completed so now the waiting game.

Yeah, thats about all I can think of at moment, but I promise to try to write more about my stuffs  :)

Daily Prompt: Drink

Really all I drink for the most part is coffee and water.  Generally I make 2 pots of coffee in a day.  Its not as much as you think, as I only have a 5 cup coffee maker.  But I do like my coffee.  Back in the day of having an income, I used to treat myself to a latte or granita 1ce a week, but no more.  Probably for the best anyhow.

On my quest for improving my health I am trying to drink more water.  Sadly it seems that I am always trying...  Having a Brita definitely helps with the water though.  The tap water here is icky, very chlorinated, not good.  I also have made it a personal rule (when at home of course) not to drink anything but water after 7:00 pm   I hope to see results someday...

Anyhow, boring I know :)  thanks for wasting a few minutes on my rambling thoughts...

Daily Prompt: Stars

Who hasn't enjoyed a night under the stars.... I can think of several enjoyable evenings throughout my many years.  *blush   But still the most remarkable sky I can remember still to this day was in the laterish 80s and there may or may not have been hallucinogenic enhancements. Lol   But it was a warm summer night, we went for a walk, and ended up just sitting on this old wall and watching the sky.  It was beautiful, so quiet, peaceful and a million bright stars just above.  They were so crisp and bright, it was easy to get lost in the night.

I still love the glow in the dark stars that you can put on your ceiling and walls.  I plan on getting some at some point for this room.  2 of the walls are black anyhow...  It will be awesome!!

Sunday morning coffee break

Seems like a very peaceful morning.  I see blue sky peeking through the clouds which gives me hope that it will be beautiful in a couple of hours when I go for my usual Sunday walk.

I feel so lucky, and blessed to have met the group that I go walking with!!!  For a couple hours every Sunday, I don't have to think or worry about things.  I let it all go, think about nothing in particular and just enjoy the time.  Occasionally I feel almost ignorant in some conversations, but its easy to get out of, and there is always something entertaining going on.

I talk to dshs about medical this week, and will make a Dr appt as well.  The SSI process has started, now the years of fighting begin... grrr.   I hate knowing that in the grand scheme of things the effin illness wins again.  Sigh...   But I do know many cases (now) that are being approved.  I love that my meds are working, but it always comes back...

I switched rooms here in the basement so I have a new cave.  I think Lola really likes it!  It has been almost a year since Gizmo passed.  I miss him.  I see pics of orange tabbies  but still none as beautiful as he was.  Mike and I were back in contact for less than 6 months before he threw his last tantrum July 4th, but he was there when needed when I had to make the choice to say goodbye to Gizzy.  I was so glad that he was there to mourn what originally was his cat.  Sigh.... ummm happier thoughts....

Yeah, not really anything else even remotely exciting going on in my little corner of Oz.  My love life is non-existent, my friends are awesome, but have real lives of their own with jobs and families and stuff.  :)  I do have a dinner date with Jenni and Melissa on Sat.  Super excited for that!!!!  I haven't seen Jenni since my birthday and Melissa.... oh its just been years.  The 3 of us were quite the trio many moons ago.  It should be awesome.

Oh, to some this will be big news... I have quit smoking ciggerettes.  I am using the "Smart smoke" but the nicotine oil is super cheap.  Best part is, I don't miss it!  So, if I can continue to lose weight, and stop smoking, and continue exercising ... I may actually be ready for Bloomsday, or at least look (and feel) better than I did last year!

Im out of things to update... will try to Coffee break at least 2ce a month.




Current music ---"At least I'm not as sad as I used to be" Fun

Daily Prompt: Clear

Its funny how everything can seem so clear one moment and nothing but confusion moments later.  

I was content with solitude and loneliness  as much as anyone can be, but it seemed better than the alternative.   But then I let reality get clouded by sweet words and I forgot.  It was fun to pretend, but reality is sneaking it ugly head back up.

I went back to old posts and last year, April 2012 I posted  "Anyhow, my revelation is this... I am not meant to be in a relationship.   I am toxic.  2ce I have taken good, driven, motivated men, and left them unemployed, and broken.  Others would prefer to completely erase me and any knowledge that they ever knew me.  That's the part that hurts the most.  It makes me wonder truly what is so wrong with me that it is better erase me that admit they know me.  However I have taken the hint and am not going to put anyone else through that and stay to myself."

I need to get back to such clarity...   

Daily Prompt: Hidden

Where I should have stayed.  I strayed.  I opened the door just a little to see out, and be seen.  I knew better.  Its safer hidden in the dark.

Daily Prompt: Mischief

I feel like this is where I should have some great story of mischief accomplished... but I honestly can't think of any.  Now, I am in no way claiming innocence, but I can't think of anything specific that isn't possibly illegal or definitely leaning toward immoral areas lol.

Being lucky enough to spend a lot of time with Liam I am now able to recognize the mischievous look in his eyes when he is going to try to touch something that he knows is a no.  He likes to test Nana often. lol  Usually it is the gate, or the DVD player... but Nana always wins :)

Hmmmm... maybe I should see what kind of mischief I can get into this week... could prove interesting.



Music at Moment: "Only In Dreams" ~ Weezer

Thursday morning coffee break :)

So I am truly making a conscious effort on my health and making it (obviously) better.

Today I have already fought the treadmill.  I only did 30 min (at highest incline), but I know its not enough.  I have a stretching/toning/weight routine that I need to start doing daily also.  Also I will be doing stairs... but I'll explain more into that in a moment.

Other part of getting healthy is of course eating.  I eat the wrong things, at the wrong times... also lack of fridge space puts some limits on shopping.  But I am finding more ways to work around it.  Today for breakfast (something else I don't normally do, but know its needed lol) I have had an English muffin, an orange and a banana, and honestly don't know if I will be able to finish.  :)

The last step in my new road is smoking.  Being unemployed for so long, ciggerettes are way to expensive even just buying the stuff and making my own.  So.... I found my old E-cig and I think it might work this time.  Last time when I first bought it, I was doing really well.  I still found myself wishing for a "real" ciggerette often, but it was getting easier.  Then I started hanging out with a smoker who kept giving them too me.  The E-cig went in a drawer and was pulled out a few days ago.  Today is the first full day of trying not to smoke. I do have a few left, but that's where the stairs come in.  The old "easy" workout of up one, go down, go up two stairs, go down. go up 3 etc... it's going to suck and really make me think how much do I want that ciggerette.  I have a feeling that stairs will be in my near future though. lol  Another bright-ish area is that I am spending time with a non-smoker so out of respect for him as well.  Tend to get more kisses when dont have smoke on my breath! lol

So those are the big things going on at this precise moment.  The rest of my world is still pretty dark and boring.  More so than even I like to admit...

Music playing.... "Take me on the floor" The Veronicas

Daily Prompt: Clean

Never in my life would I say I have been a "clean freak" or "neat-nik", but as my living area has decreased the need to keep my "area" clean has increased.  Renting a room for the last 2 + years I have developed a system that works for me.  I am a list maker.  Everyday I have a to-do list that cleans the room top to bottom, dusting to mopping, and any other extras that may need done such as nails or laundry.  I don't beat myself up if everything is not completed, but I like crossing them off! :)

I was always like that with my desk area at work also.  I kept it wiped down and highly organized at all times.  I had pride in my work station and didn't want it uncomfortable and messy.

Dont think I can ever say that about a car though.... hmmmm.....

Daily Prompt: Laundry

I am one of the few people that actually enjoys doing laundry.  Probably one of my favorite chores.  I don't let it pile up, but being just me that doesn't happen often, and I prefer to do my bedding weekly.  I don't know why I like it, maybe its the true completion of the task.  4 easy steps, wash, dry, fold, put away. Done!     Yes it starts accumulating almost immediately  but not enough to worry about for another week.  Yay! Also honestly, there isn't much nicer feeling than climbing under freshly washed sheets, especially with the electric blanket bc they are always warm when climbing in.

Daily Prompt: Alone

Seems a fitting topic after yesterday...

I generally don't mind having time alone.  Sometimes the comfortable solitude is peaceful, and I don't mind my own company so much.  I laugh about how often I "hibernate" and keep myself in my own little cave.   Its comfortable and safe.    However even though I enjoy being alone, I hate the loneliness   Being alone and being lonely are such different things.

Daily Prompt: Forgotten

In the mood I am in today, this might not be the best subject...  But as I have stated before, that's the joy of this being my blog.  I can be bitchy and negative if so the mood fits.  I'm not looking for a pep talk, or love fest, its just how I'm feeling.

I used to always fear the thought of being forgotten.  I would try to always be the "little ray of sunshine" no matter the situation and hope to make a difference in someone, anyones day.  I would joke that just the spelling of my name made me memorable.  I was comfortable and confident in myself.

Now I have grown up and face reality as it is...  I am easily erasable and forgotten.  More so than I ever thought possible.  The toxicity I mentioned many posts ago, is still just as strong.  All I can do is  just hope to be a good memory once in a while.

Daily Prompt: Chain

Like most women I love jewelry.  When it comes to necklaces (chains) they have to be cord or good quality as to not make my neck have a lovely green tint.

I have two chains that I can wear, and sometimes will change just the charm.  However the clasps are so tiny I can't put it on or take it off myself bc of my nails.  One was received as an Anniversary present and even though the emotions have changed, emeralds and diamonds are always nice to wear. :) The other is a beautiful cross my stepmother Debi gave to me. I can work with this chain a little better, so I wear it more often.  In the middle is a large piece of malachite, which happens to be my favorite stone.

I wish I had more options... or more pretty shiny things lol

Daily Prompt: Happy

Ten random things that make me happy! :)

1.  Get the basic out of the way with friends and family. (Too easy almost shouldn't count ha-ha   We have our moment of craziness but what family doesn't.  I am very blessed with my grandsons and our new extension via marriage to The Gradys.  You are all in that family category now, like it or not! My true friends know who they are and why I am grateful daily.  Loves to all...

2.  The smell of freshly brewing coffee.  Mmmm, its a comfort association smell.

3.  Finding new music or finding out a favorite artist has new Cd out or coming out soon.

4.  A fresh new notebook.

5.  A sale on nail polish.

6.  Bunnies, ducks, and elephants :)

7.  Daisy's, sunflowers or any other "happy" wildflower

8.  His name on a text, even if its just a goodnight

9.  Loudly purring kneading happy kitty loves each night as Lola says goodnight.  She runs in when I turn out the light.  Love it!

10.  Just being remembered :)

Go me! Kinda...

So today I actually completed ALL my cleaning tasks plus 2 extra optionals! So that is the go me part.  I did not however do any type of exercise   In my defense mother nature hates me and with these cramps I don't want to move, much less effing exercise!

I will try a bit harder on that, currently we are down 32.5 lbs total.  This was a bad month for me, so I have some work to do... Bloomsday is approaching!

Daily Prompt: Moon

I know that I am not very good at writing daily, but I do think about it much more often than you would think.

Todays word is moon.  The full moon was this last weekend, but I didn't see it.  I love the large beautiful harvest moons that light up the night.  I can remember a few moonlit walks in my younger, more attractive days.  :)  I think my most current fond memory with an amazing moon would be the night of Sean and Lenee's wedding.  A beautiful blue moon on a very special night!

Sigh, now I wish I had someone to have a moonlit picnic with...