In the mood I am in today, this might not be the best subject... But as I have stated before, that's the joy of this being my blog. I can be bitchy and negative if so the mood fits. I'm not looking for a pep talk, or love fest, its just how I'm feeling.
I used to always fear the thought of being forgotten. I would try to always be the "little ray of sunshine" no matter the situation and hope to make a difference in someone, anyones day. I would joke that just the spelling of my name made me memorable. I was comfortable and confident in myself.
Now I have grown up and face reality as it is... I am easily erasable and forgotten. More so than I ever thought possible. The toxicity I mentioned many posts ago, is still just as strong. All I can do is just hope to be a good memory once in a while.
I don't see you as remotely forgettable, and frankly I wonder how you bear it. My deepest wish is to be forgotten, unnoticed, invisible. To be remembered is to have been important, to be important is to have responsibilities and to have responsibilities is to court inevitable failure. I couldn't be as memorable as you if I wanted to, and I couldn't want to if I tried.
ReplyDeleteYour deepest wish, is my fear. I hate feeling forgotten, unnoticed, invisible, alone. To me being remembered is being important and yes it has responsibilities but nothing that I could fail at. My heart is open and my friends (few that they are)hopefully know that they matter. Even if I am nothing more than a brief memory that might make someone smile, I like that...
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